Inspired by an enlightened article we ran a few years back, I thought it was about time someone took the bull by the horns and said what we’re all thinking.
Everybody knows sex sells.
Well, you know, seafood has some sexy figureheads too and we should absolutely take the time to appreciate their curvaceous figures, pouting lips and lustrous locks.
So here is a list of seafood’s sexiest… my pleasure.
Captain Birds Eye – Bird’s Eye
Once a less than desirable Santa-esque figure, Bird’s Eye’s salty fishing cap’ain recently got a makeover and is now a salt n’ pepper bearded hunk of a man with a hint of a smile and “come to bunk” eyes.
He also, according to the TV ad "loves nothing more than jumping into the cold sea on a hot day".. in a clingy white T-shirt. Oh yes indeed.
A Birds Eye spokesman told The Mirror that it was the actor's "love of the sea" that snagged him the role. Uh-huh.
Captain Iglo – Iglo
So, while essentially one in the same man, it is unclear whether Captain Iglo got the same upgrade as Captain Birdseye or remains a slightly sexier (well, he is European) version of the old Captain Birdseye. The mystery is seductive, that’s for sure.
The Gorton's Fisherman – Gorton's Seafood
Ahoy there sailor! If there is one thing I have learned in my 25 years on this earth it is that a
girl can never have too many fishermen in her cabin. And Gorton’s started teasing us last year with a new, upgraded figurehead, depicted simply as a swaggering yellow oil skin with the word TRUST thrust at us out of nowhere.
I’m not sure what that means, but one thing I am certain of is that, from the back, I would trust the new Captain Gorton to come rig my mainsail any time he damn well likes.
Charlie the Tuna – Starkist
The hottest tuna out there, Charlie rocks the sexy secretary look, his horn-rimmed specs ready to be tossed aside and, presumably, a full head of lustrous hair waiting to tumble from underneath his beret.
Often seen seductively draped over a tuna can, Charlie’s curves are enough to get even the most staunch tinned fish hater hot under the collar.
Fisher Boy – High Liner Foods
More of a young man than a boy, Highliner’s Fisher Boy can sure fill his waders. Ok, so we’ve never seen him, but I like to think of him as a more sexually adventurous version of his Dad, the High Liner fisherman.
And with some of the most generously proportioned fish sticks in the industry, Fisher Boy sure does bring the fun to fish!
Rodolfo Langostino – Pescanova
When a shrimp like Rodolfo Langostino tips his hat and invites you to “llevame a casa," then you can pretty much guarantee it’s going to be a good night.
Well, and you know what they say about a shrimp with sideburns…
Shrimp Louie – Bubba Gump
What is with shrimp? Must be that translucent outer shelling – just enough flesh to titillate, but not so much that it doesn’t keep you guessing.
And just look at those pretty blue eyes. HOT.
Horatio the Bumble Bee – Bumble Bee
If you like a bit of S&M, this is your guy. With a taste for the honeys and a sting in his tail, Horatio Bumble Bee likes nothing more than an afternoon rolling in the hay.
Chef Bear – John West
Phwoar. All that manly hair, big strong paws AND he can cook! Chef Bear can put his salmon in my oven any time he likes.
King Oscar –Thai Union
Well, he’s a king. Nothing is a bigger turn on than power, right girls? Only pipped to the post by King & Prince Seafood’s seductive brand name … threesome anyone?
My God. With all this stimulation on your packaging it's a wonder any of you get any work done.
Sure, it's just a bit of fun, but the use of women's bodies or sexuality in advertising is the thin end of a very thick wedge that helps create a culture that acts as a barrier to women entering executive positions in this sector and many others.
If a company's culture does not respect diversity, does not SHOUT diversity, in everything it does -- outwardly and inwardly -- then it will not attract a diverse workforce. And without a diverse workforce it has been proven in study after study that your company will not be as productive, creative or profitable.
So, do yourselves a favor. Drop the cleavage, the legs and the stereotyping, think up something a little more imaginative and give yourself the opportunity to attract some top notch leaders to your group.
But no more talking shrimp. Please.
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