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Surviving Brussels: 25 MUST-READ tips!

Some fun games for when you need a break from the psychological torture of sales banter.

The Brussels Seafood Show. We all know it's the land of opportunities and your time to shine. But we also all know that it can be painful, tedious and downright hard work. So here are some fun games for when you need a break:

  1. Count how many companies have hired a bunch of women and dressed them inappropriately in an attempt to bolster their sales.
  2. Go find Pescanova’s booth and ask the most junior member of staff you can find how things are going at the company.
  3. Make a dried seaweed reefer and pass it around.
  4. Give a stirring speech to your colleagues about the importance of grasping every opportunity, then sit down, kick back and crack open a can of Leffe.
  5. See if you can garner an entire three-course meal from mass sampling of sushi, surimi and canned abalone.
  6. Study the metro map, because you know on day three that colleague you’ve been relying on to tag along with each morning and afternoon will be gone.
  7. Distribute breath fresheners to every passing Norwegian, Irish and Icelandic exec to help them mask the overwhelming smell of alcohol on their breath.
  8. Count how many Dutch companies have forced their entire sales force into full orange jumpsuits.
  9. Take your favorite colleague's little pile of business cards and edit his phone number to that of a local sex line.
  10. Retrieve the underwear you left soaking in the sink last night from your briefcase and spend 10 minutes in the expo bathrooms drying it under the hand drier.
  11. Take an Imodium in preparation for the mussels dinner you're going for tonight off the Grand Place (see above).
  12. Steal all the chairs from next door’s booth.
  13. See how many company-branded boxes of mints, cardboard roller cases, bags, cigarette lighters, ashtrays (these last two will largely be found on the Chinese and Spanish booths), and keyrings you can procure to take home for your kids (not the cigarette lighters).
  14. Hand out branded Band Aids for everyone who got tired and fell over last night in the Grand Place.
  15. Spend five minutes pondering what the hell went on at that Dutch breakfast all those years and feel relieved you didn't have to test your sexual adventurousness finding out.
  16. Repeatedly ask a junior member of staff if your arse looks good in your new trousers.
  17. Switch off the freezer on a competitor’s fish display... you know, for jokes.
  18. Tell five junior members of your own staff to smile and look enthusiastic (this is best done to greatest effect on day three).
  19. Take an antacid.
  20. Go into the processing hall and ask an equipment manufacturer repeatedly and sincerely if you can source those demo plastic fish from them.
  21. Give an IntraFish reporter a Red Bull and see how fast they can write.
  22. Ask a passing American if you think chinos and a polo shirt are suitable attire for a European business event. Also ask them why they voted for Trump.
  23. See if you can find the worst smelling "fresh" fish display, then chain your nearest Greenpeace protester to it.
  24. Tell your boss you’ve just signed a three-year sourcing contract with Pacific Andes and have made a huge saving by paying upfront.
  25. Tell every salmon farming company you come across that pretzel farms are the future.


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Twitter: @rachelintrafish


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